Time to figure out the meaning to life.

Once again I have been thinking about what I give this world. I was posed with the question about how we effect our world. Everything we do effects everything else around us. So what is it that I am giving to this world to make it better? Right now I feel like I am just here taking space, there is no meaning in my life. The thing is I am not sure what will give my life meaning. I can think back to when I worked for Rock the Vote, I enjoyed it, but it did not give me meaning. I guess that is where exploration comes in to find out what will make ones life meaningful.

I found a program with the Human Rights Campaign that I am going to apply for, it is called Youth College. They pick 30 people from around the US and help train them and then place them on a congressional campaign. The great thing is it is all expenses paid and you would be a full time staff member on a campaign. It would be amazing experience and would help me find some new things in this world. I would also be able to use this as my internship.

I have started working on my application, I just have to find one more letter of recommendation. I am not sure who I want to ask to write it though. I am having Hans Remier who is the current president for Rock the Vote write one for me, kind of. When I asked him if he would write it for me he agreed, but asked me to write it and he would edit/revise it. I guess that is a good way to do it, I can put in things I think will help get me the position. But it did kind of surprise me that he asked me to write, I do not know what to write about myself. I had to do a biography for something with Rock the Vote once and it was horrible. I feel when I write about myself that I am bragging. But he will be a great person for a recommendation to work for another non profit. I was also thinking about asking Megan, she and I have worked together before, and she is the Salt Lake County Democrat Party Chair so that may work (So what are your thoughts Megan?).

I am a weird person though, I just got a great job with Target and already I am trying to find something else. Why isn't that I can't just ever be happy with what I have? I think I might seek change just for the sake of change. I also kind of think I may be applying just to see if they would take me, but hey it doesn't hurt to try. But really who knows. I have a lot of life left, so I figure why not explore. We can't take any of this with us when we die, so why not say fuck it and have fun!

I feel like I am wondering around aimlessly trying to find something, yet I have no clue what I am looking for. I just hope I know it when I see it. I know that I have missed some things that were right in front of my face and now I wish I could change things.

On a side note, I got bored tonight so I thought I would look in to Target a little more. I found out that Target is very homo friendly. They specifically mention sexual orientation as one of the diverse items they like to be apart of their team. Most company's hide from things like that. Target also offers partner benefits, I guess I just have to find a partner to take part.