I was bored...

Karma

I haven't posted in a long long time. Things have been moving forward for me. However, I have discovered I have bad karma. I seriously need to do a karmic cleansing. In my history at Target I have almost killed a kid, had a pregnant mom slip, bomb scare, man try and run over a cop, complete power failure in the building, crazy person who needed to be fired, and a fire in one of my departments. And that is all just Target mishaps.

I also had my car break down on Christmas day, $3,000 later I still don't have my car back. After my car broke down I took my parents car home. The funny thing there was when I got all the way down to SLC I locked the door to later realize that I didn't have the key to unlock the door. All that happened on Christmas day. I am seriously starting to wonder whose dog I ran over. I am just hoping with all that, I am rewarded later down the road.

I have had some success mixed in with the mishaps. I was offered a job with the Gap, which I decided to turn down. The great thing that came from that was Target decided to match the wage that the Gap offered. So that was nice.

I also found out that one of my co-workers googled my name. And if you have ever googled me before you know you do find things. I was a little worried about what he might find. Thankfully he didn't find anything too bad. He did discover that I am gay, which is not a big deal. I do find it a little creepy that he felt he needed to google me.

I also bought a new MacBook computer. It is very very nice! Really life is pretty boring right now, which isn't a bad thing.

You got your ass kicked!

So republicans got their asses handed to them. Yes, this is the democrat mandate that says the republican leadership has lead us the wrong way and now we are changing it. One thing that pisses me off is now that Bush has lost the mandate he said he received in 2004, he wants to extend an olive branch. Quiet honestly if I were a democrat in Congress I would shove the olive branch up his ass! He wouldn't work with us on any policy when he had control, so you can't be all buddy buddy now.

I voted, now give me a blow job!

I voted this morning at 8:30 am. It was quite fun and new. I had never used the new machines so I had to ask for help. I really liked them, I also like that it has a paper backup. However, there is one thing I did not understand. What was the fancy little card that they gave you to put in the machine? I kind of wanted to keep it to show to everyone I voted. I didn't, so the sticker will have to work!

I also heard someone ask to use a paper ballot. I thought it was so cute! Maybe it wasn't that cute, but the guy sure was. I totally wanted to go over and say hi and thank him for being so serious about voting. But in the end I didn't, I was more concerned with my sticker.

I have decided that blow jobs should be given out to every voter. It would increase turn out a lot.

Separate and NOT equal.

So if you have been reading the news you probably heard that the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that same sex couples must be given the same rights as straight couples. Now the debate is about if that means marriage of a civil union. But I have one question, doesn't the idea of a civil union seem exactly like separate but equal? And didn't we already prove that separate but equal is NEVER equal. So there is only one choice and that is marriage.

Don't you wonder?

I saw this and wondered, what if I know this person. If I did I would hope they would come to me with a secret like this.

I named a rat

So I won two VIP passes to the Big Ass Show. They were having a contest to name their corporate rat, and well my name I entered won! The sad part is I forgot what I named it. But all that matters is I won! So when you hear the name, that was mine. The funny thing is I don't think I have ever paid for a concert ticket and I have been to a lot of concerts!

Also, I turned down Starbucks. I was a little disappointed because I really wanted to work with them. The problem is they didn't offer me enough money. The sad thing is 6 months ago I would have taken the job with no question. The amount they offered was a lot, just 10K less than I make now. But the exciting thing is I have been head hunted by Toys R Us.

A recruiter contacted me and I have been interviewing with them to run my own Toys R Us. The great thing is they quoted me about 10K more than Target pays me plus a 15% bonus, which is not bad! Should I get the job that means I will be able to buy a condo sooner than I had hoped!

So it seems I am on a lucky streak. I should go to Vegas!

Blogs

So some of you may not know this, but I have two blogs. One is the more emo blog and the other is the life update blog. I have had one of my blogs since November 2003. I decided to sit down and do some math.

So in the last 50 posts on each site I have written a total of 71 pages single spaced with 32,000 words. And that does not even begin to count all the other posts that aren't on the first page of my blog. It is kind of crazy to think I had 32,000 words to say.

The bible creates people like this (look at picture below)

Brett when I say I don't believe in the bible (little b) I mean I do not believe in the teachings within the bible. Yes there is a book, but does this book contain the word of god (little g), in my opinion no. It contains the word of man. Much like there are many Jesus's (hey sus) in this world but that does not mean they are prophets.

I was so ready to bitch out some holy person for posting religious garb on my page until I found out it was you.

Thus concludes my religious discussion for the day.

you can't put your finger there - OOH! PUT YOUR FINGER THERE!

I had an interview with Starbucks the other day to run my own store. It went really well, I got a call back from the district manager for a final interview! I think interviewing is one of my best skills. There was one question they asked me that I didn't have a good answer for and I was shocked when I heard it. They asked me to tell them about a time when I took the ethical high ground when others may not have. For me that is a tough question I wasn't expecting. I'm glad they didn't ask me if I liked coffee because really I don't. But I guess I can learn to like the taste, they give all Starbucks partners a pound of coffee a week so I better learn fast. But I think it went well. I'll let you know if I get the job.

Name that tune - you can't put your finger there - OOH! PUT YOUR FINGER THERE!

Take Care

I haven't written in quiet some time, but I had some free time today so I thought it would be great to get some thoughts out. I watched two shows today both from the program called “30 Days”. The idea behind the TV program is for someone to live in someone else’s shoes for 30 days. But they don't just put anyone together; they put two people with opposite views in the same place for 30 days so they can learn from each other.

The first one I watched was on immigration. They took one of the “Minute Men” and had him live with a family of illegal aliens. I can honestly say it touched me and kind of made me feel bad for what I have. Not because I have it but because they aren't able to have it. This minute man moves in with a family of 7 people who live in a 500 sq ft 1 bedroom apartment. The family was so welcoming to a man who would like them to leave the country. At one point they have him go to Mexico to see what the reality is in Mexico and why they fled their home country.

The thing that inspired me the most was their oldest daughter. For being an illegal alien she was fighting hard to make herself the best she could. In fact, she even was ambitious enough to apply to Princeton. In the end she wasn't accepted to Princeton but did get into her second choice. What struck a cord with me was how hard she works. It kind of made me upset because I thought I had it hard but really I don't. Compared to her I have had everything handed to me. Just look at where I live, my 1 bedroom apartment is almost double the size of theirs and I don't have 7 people sharing the space.

The next episode I watched was about a straight guy moving to the Castro to live with a gay man. This one really reminded me of who I am and the reality in which I live. I am hated in this country. I am not hated by people who know me but by people who think they know me. And the people who think they know me justify their hate from a little book called the bible. I think the greatest sin is hating someone in the name of any god. If we were to follow the word in the bible we couldn't have wars because that too is a sin.

It bothers me how people pick and choose which they want to follow. If someone were willing to follow the bible word for word then I would be ok with that, knowing full well they would fail. I really wish someone would be honest and say they hate me because that is how their were raised and don’t know any better, because that would be honest. They don’t hate me because of the bible they hate me because they don’t understand.

At the end of both of these episodes the other person left with a changed mind. But what I find interesting is they both left with the words “take care”. Those are words I have said before, but I think they have a different meaning. When you see your best friend who lives down the street you don’t say take care, you say bye or see you later. But in this case they both probably would never see the other person again. To me the word take care is what you say to someone you care about but will never see again. I hate to say it but I have said those words to people I truly care about, but in the end will never see again.

I also did some painting today. I painted 3 similar paintings to hang over my couch. I am really excited with how they turned out, you will have to come see them. I am planning a house warming party some time in the next few weeks and I will make sure all those I care about are invited. If you don't get an invitation, sorry I don't like you. Ok just kidding, everyone is welcome.

More pics of my place!

I am the most excited about having my own washer and dryer!

Still needy...

My new place!

Here are some pictures of my new place. It isn't all put together but doesn't look too bad! I painted the walls an orange color, which I like. And there is a picture from my living room that over looks the courtyard!

It's kind of like walking down the street with your large penis hanging out

I was reading the magazine "Out", it helped me to realize what it means to be gay. From the ads you can get the whole gay life style in one magazine. The first ad is for alcohol, the social lubricant for most things. Really what would the party be without alcohol. The next ad was for a nice watch. Gay men are known for their great style, so this watch fits well. If you keep flipping you find a guy wearing very few clothes in some very nice underwear. I think it is one of the gay rules that you must have nice underwear, if you don't you can't be gay.

After the sexy guy in underwear you have an ad for an anti-depressant. Which is quite funny, it happens to be the one I take. I'm glad I got the gay one! I also find the placement of this ad kind of funny, it is after the sexy man in underwear. Clearly, not all gay men look like this guy. The anti-depressants are for all of us homos who will never fit that image. We need them to help us to be happy again. Once you have the happy pills you now need a nice car.

So of course the next ad is for a Volvo C70 (which is quite nice). A car is a great way to attract guys. It shows you statues and wealth so everyone can see it. It's kind of like walking down the street with your large penis hanging out, but without nudity. Once you get your sexy car you need a dog, so clearly K9 Advantix is the best ad to be next. This is seriously something I want to try, I want to buy a nice car and get a dog and go to the park. I am certain to come home with someone!

If you keep reading the next ad of course is for alcohol again, without that most of us would be lost and would never get laid. I have, however, forgotten the one aid that is repeated throughout all gay magazines. That is the ad for the HIV medication. I think the lesson here is if you have the nice car, cute dog, sexy clothes, and lots of alcohol you will get aids! Clearly I am joking, but I do think it is too bad that this is something that so many gay men have to face.

I do find it odd that in this whole magazine I didn't seen one ad for condoms. I guess gay men don't need condoms, or clearly we don't buy enough of them to be a large demographic for the condom companies. If you keep reading you will also come to a few ads for gay.com, because really where else can we meet guys. With all these ads you get the gay life style according to the covers of a magazine.

New Rule

Until religions start to pay taxes they don't get a say in the political world. If you want to play politics you're gonna have to pay! Until then shut the fuck up!

Day from Hell...

Have you ever gotten home after a hard days work and just thought to yourself, "wow that sucked"? Well that's where I'm at, today was not good. First, Monday I walked into a huge mess. People were talking and didn't know what the fuck they were talking about so I had to correct them and correct the original problem. I had Tuesday off and come in Today to find another complete mess. My produce team lead forgot to do the produce order, which is fucking huge! The sad thing is this is the 2nd time in a month that an order has been forgotten, I guess we didn't get it the first time. Today was so bad I needed a beer, ice cream, candy, and a blow job (I got almost all of what I needed)!

Clearly I need to be doing these things myself because I don't have a team I can count on. The problem is I am pulled all over the place during the day. I walk in and have to put out so many fires there is no time for anything else. I could work everyday 24 hours a day and still not clean up all the messes. So today I had enough. I am setting the standard, if they can't do it then they need to find another team. The food side at my store does 10 million a year, right now I feel like I am the only one working for that 10 million. I know I am not doing it all, but when shit hits the fan it all comes on me. The funny thing is when things go well it's a team effort.

This is the first time I have ever been challenged at work. And when I make it to the end I will have learned a lot. But right now I am feeling completely ineffective. But I have a plan, I am starting at the beginning and I am going to work to a place we need to be. That means getting everything started now and moving forward. If the team can't take it then they aren't right for the team.

I'd pay you a lot, you're worth it

I was asked a few weeks back to go to D.C. and be apart of a group speaking to the Rock the Vote board. Rock the Vote has had some issues since the last presidential election. They over spent and are now down to only a few staff members. They have taken one of the largest and most recognizable non-profit groups and turned it into nothing. The group will be speaking on ways to improve Rock the Vote, and really to offer Rock the Vote how their demographic wants the group ran.

I would have to pay for my own travel and all that, but the only thing holding me back right now is not having anyone to go with. It is always more fun if you have others there to join in. I have been to many Rock the Vote functions and they are always fun, so I really do want to go. It's just a matter of find someone to join me.

I have been to D.C. a number of times but I have never done the tourist thing. I have seen a few highlights such as the Capital and the White House, but there is so much more I want to see. If I go this time I am going to be a real tourist. I want to see the holocaust museum the most. I have heard it is unbelievable. We will see what happens.

I was also reading a friends blog and he had this survey posted so I thought I would do it as well.

1. How old do you wish you were?
I would say 35, but then I should have a great career.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was sleeping. I was in my dorm when my roommate came in and woke me up. I was kind of pissed because I really like to sleep. I can remember after that they posted a guard right at the entrance to Fort Douglas, he had a VERY large gun. I had to pass it everyday on my way back to the dorms. Having the guy with the gun there actually made me feel more unsafe.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Nothing, but it has happened to me twice lately!

4. Do you consider yourself kind?
More often than not I am very kind. However, there are times when I get pissed and I am not so kind. Right now one of my subordinates at work had made me not so kind. And yes subordinate is a harsh word, but really I am ready to put her in her place. She mustn't forget I decide how much money she makes! So yeah other than that I am usually kind.

5. What did you eat for breakfast today?
bread

6. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Somewhere on my body where no one could see it unless I were missing some key items of clothing. And really no one wants to see me missing some items of clothing.

7. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
French because I think it is sexy. However, for practical reasons Spanish would be the better language to learn.

8. Do you know your neighbors?
I don't. I have lived here for over a year and I have no clue who any of them are. And honestly, I have no urge to get to know them. When I move I will know one of my neighbors.

9. What do you consider a vacation?
Having a long number of days off in a row.

10. Do you follow your horoscope?
Nope.

11. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes I would...

12. Are you touchy feely?
Yep, I like hand holding and all that jazz.

13. Do you believe that opposites attract?
Yes, I think they balance one another.

14. Dream job?
I want a powerful job. I want the kind of job that I will need security at all hours and when I drive I have a motorcade. So if you know of any jobs like that, that are hiring please let me know.

15. Favorite channel(s)?
HGTV (How Gay TV)

16. Why do people always delete questions out of these?
Because they are stupid

17. Favorite place to go on weekends?
I don't have a favorite place to go, I think I should find one.

18. Showers or Baths?
Showers to get so fresh and so clean clean, but a bath to relax.

19. Do you paint your nails?
No.

20. Do you trust people easily?
I used to, but no I don't.

21. What are your phobias?
Spiders, Snakes, and being alone.

22. Do you want kids?
Not sure. It depends on if I had somebody to help me take care of the kid.

23. Do you keep a handwritten journal?
No, but I do keep a journal.

24. Where would you rather be right now?
Greece

25. Who makes you feel guilty?
Most things...

26. Heavy or light sleep?
Heavy

27. Are you paranoid?
Sometimes yes. I worry what others think about me way too much.

28. Are you impatient?
Yep, I do things so much better on my own.

29. Who can you relate to?
I haven't found that person I can relate to.

30. How do you feel about interracial couples?
I feel fine about them. How do you feel about same sex couples?

31. Have you been burned by love?
Yep, and I'm not ready to let that happen again.

32. What's your life motto?
Watch the play/movie "Rent", that is my motto towards life.

33. What's your ringtone on your phone?
It's a ring no music or any annoying shit.

34. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Just getting ready to lay down.

35. What did the last text message on your phone say?
"Yeah, (insert name) is lame. I'd pay you a lot, you're worth it" (that kind of sounds bad not knowing the context behind it)

36. Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

37. What color shirt are you wearing?
LOL, a pink shirt. It is solid pink. (I'm such a homo)

38. Most recent movie that you watched?
Charlie and the chocolate factory

39. Name three things that you have on you at all times.
Underwear, cell phone, and keys.

40. How much cash do you have on you right now?
$4, I am a debit card user.

41. What's your favorite town/city?
San Francisco

42. I can't wait to (til):
move.

43. Who got you to join myspace?
Rock the Vote. They were partnering with Myspace, so I was kind of forced to join.

44. What did you have for dinner last night?
Sandwhich, that I had left out because I had to have a "status" with someone at work.

45. When do you wanna get married?
When I find someone that loves me as much as I love them.

46. Who is the last person you spent $50 on?
Myself, fuck everyone else.

47. Do you have an air freshener in your car?
no, but I should get one.

48. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
No not really, just normal aches and pains.

49. If you could choose, how would you pass on?
While having the most amazing sex ever.

50. Any sex today? Alone? Or with someone else?
I practice self love as often as possible, but that isn't sex. So no.

51. Do you miss anyone?
I don't know what I feel. If I could turn of my "feeling" I would.

52. Do you like revenge?
Yes I like it, but does it make me feel good, no. Do I seek out revenge, no.

53. Know how to swim?
Yep, how can someone not know how to swim? I really don't remember learning I just have always been able to.

54. Do you know how to skate?
Skateboard, no. Roller/Ice skate yes.

55. Did you do sports in high school?
No.

56. If you could have one wish come true, what would it be?
The ability to make anything I wanted happen.

I'm moving!

I move out into a really nice place on the 24th! I am so excited! That place is 750 square feet. It features a washer and dryer in the unit (no more quarters!), it has a balcony, it's NOT on the ground level, it has a fitness center, swimming pool, hot tub, club house, private parking, and a secured entrance. I will be moving the 23rd and 24th, if you can help please let me know!

The landlord at my old place are being ass holes though. They won't prorate that last months rent, even with 30 days written notice. So I told them I won't surrender the unit until the 30th. I'm not going to let them make me pay the full amount and then let them get it ready and have someone else move in on the 1st. So they won't be able to fill it until the 5th of next month, which kind of throws things off and will make it harder to rent. But if that's how they want it that's how it will be! If they were smart they would pro rate the rent, clean the place from the 25th to the 30th so it is ready by the 1st of the month.

My apartment is on the 2nd floor on the left side, it over looks the courtyard! (near the tree, nice and quiet!)


This isn't my exact unit but shows what they look like.

Life 101

I found this on the net and kind of liked it, so I thought I would share. I also feel I must share my favorite new song with you. It is "Behind the Moon" by Matt Costa. Download it you just might like it.

Have a firm handshake.

Look people in the eye.

Sing in the shower.

Own a great stereo system.

Keep secrets.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

Whistle.

Avoid sarcastic remarks.

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.

Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

Lend only those books you never care to see again.

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

When playing games with children, let them win.

Be romantic.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.

Be a good loser.

Be a good winner.

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

Keep it simple.

Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.

Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.

Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

Once in a while, take the scenic route.

Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'

Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.

Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.

Become someone's hero.

Marry only for love.

Count your blessings.

Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.

Wave at the children on a school bus.

Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.

Don't expect life to be fair.

Some people suck...boring day.

I went car shopping today. It had to be the worst experience ever. The guy wouldn't even give me the price of the car. He asked me how much I wanted to pay. Then told me the price would depend on the financing. I had to ask him a few times what the price of the car was and he never gave a clear answer. So I left, if the car doesn't have a real price then I don't want to buy it. This is why car sales men have such bad names.

Today I also put my deposit down on my new apartment. I happened to luck out, it was only a $350 deposit rather than the normal $500. She also showed me the apartment, it is pretty nice. It has a place for a washer and dryer, has a balcony, large tub that two people could fit in, and it will over look the court yard, so it will be pretty and quiet! It's also NOT on the ground floor so I can open the blinds without people being able to look in. The place also has a work out room, swimming pool, and club house so maybe I can lose a few more pounds (I'm getting fat). My day was kind of boring other than an email...

Guess what I found...

Today in the mail I got a copy of the book "Found". The idea behind the book is for people to send in random things they find. It is very similar to postsecret but with found items. I started looking in it and learn something.

One of the found letters was a break up note. The letter talks about not wanting to see the other person because they just found out they are related. Yeah it's probably best that they not see each other, seeing as how they are related. At the end of the letter it is signed "Love Always". I have decided that break up notes should never be signed with the word love in it, no matter what context it is used. If you loved (excluding the part about them being related) that person you wouldn't be breaking up with them. So you cannot sign break up letters "Love Always". I will hate you forever or I never want to see you again, those are both acceptable.

Letters like this are also very personal so more needs to be done to prevent them from ending up in books like Found. If you have some please keep them to yourself, unless of course they are so juicy we all need to read them. All kidding aside, I find it so interesting being able to look into random people's lives and read things they may not have wanted others to read.

Here are some random found things that I liked.

Man tries to run down cops while I got sunburned...

I have another story to add to the interesting events that have happened to me at Target. This one is probably the best. You can watch your evening news for more information.

Today we went golfing, which I completely suck at. It wasn't until the last hole that I finally did well. I also got a little red, which hopefully will turn into a tan. While we were golfing some very interesting things happened.

First the district manager decided to walk the store. He knew that all of the executives would be out of the building, yet he still picked today to visit. His visit did not go well. In fact, it was really bad. So that sucked.

After we found out that he had walked the store we went back to get our things and head home for the day. While we were coming back we saw some police officers driving very fast past us. There was also a helicopter in the sky. Not thinking much of it we walked in the store. As we got to the door we saw our Assets Protection people and asked them what was up and why there was a helicopter circling the building. Little did we know they were there for us.

While we were gone our staff had caught someone shop lifting. He happened to have a knife on him so they called the police, which is what they are supposed to do. When the shop lifter left the building and the cops tried to stop him he ran. This literally caused a high speed chase. Not only did the guy run but he tried to run over a cop. This all happened while we were golfing with no store executives in the building. I can add that to the paramedics having to be called twice, a bomb scare, and now an armed shop lifter who tries to kill a cop. Good times!


Wanted Man Allegedly Tries To Run Down Cop

(KUTV) SALT LAKE CITY A man who was wanted for shoplifting ends up in serious trouble for allegedly assaulting an officer.

Salt lake county sheriff's deputies arrested 24-year-old Shayne Steele after they say he led them on a chase through cottonwood heights.

Deputies say Steele and his wife were wanted in suspicion for shoplifting at the fort union target store.

Then when a deputy tried to confront Steele in his car he allegedly tried to run over the deputy.

Deputies are still looking for Steele's wife, Kimberly Perry. She is wanted for shoplifting.


In other news...Guys are damn horny. He needs to get laid worse than me. Help a Virgin That link is for a guy who is trying to get laid. I am not sure if it is real, but it is funny. He has a myspace page with a lot of positive comments. Clearly sex is the path to peace in this world. Let's all fuck.

Gay Pride

Gay pride is coming up soon. The sad part is I am very torn with going or not. At this point I do have to work, which I kind of like. It gives me an excuse not to go. That being said part of me does want to go. Last year was my first gay pride ever. I did 2 in one months time. Both were really fun, but things have changed a little since then. I don't really have anyone I want to go with. Yes I could go with some friends, but going leads to another problem. It is VERY likely that I would spot someone that would make me uncomfortable. I also don't want to ruin pride for that person. I was also able to go to San Francisco Pride last year, and there is no way the Salt Lake Pride could come close to the amount of fun I had in San Francisco.

Part of me wants to say fuck it and go and have a great time and not even think about what could happen. I need to live my life and shouldn't worry about who I run into. But should I run into someone I know it would be odd. I have had an uncomfortable run in at a restaurant. Part of me wanted to pick up and leave but the other half knew I needed to stay. I was there eating just as they were so there was no reason for me to leave. But the whole meal was the most uncomfortable thing I have experienced. Now pride would be different than a restaurant, at pride I would be free to move as far away as I choose, while still having fun. I know most people are going to tell me to go and not even give it another thought, but it's not that easy.

I placed my order!

I was looking online to order some checks when I saw the "satire" section. Thinking there may be some funny checks in there I decided to take a look. What I found was quite surprising. They literally sell pro choice checks. Yes that is a check design with a pro choice message on them. It also includes a leather check holder that says "Thou Shall Not Kill". Now I am being totally serious. I have come to find out this company has a whole line of religious checks.

Clearly there are some odd people out there that feel that they must get their message out in any way possible, including check designs. I wonder if when presenting one of these checks it also includes a discussion on your views of abortion. The checks probably come with a stipulation that if you aren't pro choice you can't have the money. If some one where to hand me a check like this I would be tempted to rip it up. I wonder how many checks like these have been used for donations at Republican fund raisers, because they would sure fit in well. I have yet to find the pro gay rights check design or the pro abortion (pro choice) check design, but when I do I will let you know! We can all order our pro choice checks and spread the word!

I've been in the club.

In my last post I wrote about every homo needing to watch "The Broken Hearts Club", and if you have seen it to watch it again. I seriously meant that! I figured I should probably clarify why I feel everyone needs to see it. The movie is about a group of gay friends and the guys they date. You have the pretty boy, "newbie", gym bunny, and the normal less attractive gay guy.

The reason I think everyone should watch it is because gay guys do a lot of the things they do in the movie. In the movie the "newbie" falls for the first guy who shows him any attention. This is something I have done, which didn't work so well. You also have the pretty boy who thinks he is better than the normal guy. The normal guy over compensates by putting his friends down. This is also something I have done. I didn't feel like I was a pretty boy so I rejected most gay people. I figured all homos must be stuck up assholes (some are). This group of friends also has a problem with saying things that aren't needed and are quite rude to one another. This is another thing I have done. When I get mad my first instinct is to go for the low blow in order to take them out right away. This is also something that has been done to me as well. So yes we all need to watch this movie again.

I have also been thinking about Karma today. I am not sure if I believe it or not. One can think about our world and how balanced it is at times. For example if you live an unhealthy unbalanced life style you will end up not feeling well as a way for your body to say something is wrong. Also think about how well planned things are such as our bodies and what we eat. We need certain things to live and we just happen to have those things in our environment to fill those needs such as food and water. Now it would be an amazing thing if all of those things just happened, which may be the case. But if they just happened it shows there is some balance to our world.

Today I was posed with the question about my actions and my Karma. I was told I can do anything I want but I must be willing to take the bad/good karma they could cause. I also have been thinking about the success I have had recently in many areas. There was a time when many of these areas were drastically lacking. There was also a time when I had someone in my life and now that area is drastically lacking. So I can see that my life is balancing out. There were a few months when I thought everything had hit bottom but really I was just setting myself up for the current success. The question is when will I be able to find that balance between everything. Rather than having one area extra successful and one area completely lacking I want to have it all balanced. I am not sure what I need to do to find that balance. Anyway...

All homos must do this now!

Next week I get to do something I have never done before. That is I am going golfing for work. Yes, seriously I am going to be paid to go golfing. The only problem with this is I have no clue how to golf. I didn't know companies still did that where everyone goes golfing as a way to get to know one another. But really what the hell do I care, they are paying me to golf. I just have to figure out how to play golf in a week and hope I don't make a complete ass out of myself.

Today I also ordered my very first business cards. And for those that already have business cards I am sure this isn't exciting. But remember back to your first real job and your first business card, it is kind of exciting. I really don't know who would want one of my business cards other than people I know just to show off. But I guess they see some need for me having them. I feel like I have finally found a good job. And really I have, there is a lot of room for growth within the company and with my salary.

I also watched "The Broken Hearts Club" again today. It is a homo movie about men and love. I think every homo must watch it, and if you have already watched it you need to watch it again. On the second go around please take notes because clearly there are a lot of homos who missed some of it. There is a whole story I could go into about what the homos I know have missed, but I won't (that one person out there shouldn't get offended, not everything is about them). And if you think you are one that has missed something maybe you are or maybe you aren't. Watch the movie again for yourself and figure out what you could do better and what you already do well at. Seriously, all homos must do this now.

Who are you?

I have a site counter on my blog, so I know people read it. The only problem is I don't know who they are! And really it drives me mad. I have some very loyal readers, but I want to know who you are? I know some of them, I know Megan, Robert, and Sadie read it, but the rest I am lost. So if you are reading this I would love to know who you are? I also would love to know why people read this blog? I am kind of boring without many interesting things to say.

This past weekend I went to the movies with a friend and watched "Thank you for smoking". This is a Sundance Film about the spokesperson for big tobacco. It is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. After watching I felt I needed to go light up. If you ever wanted to be a lobbyist you must watch this film.

I have two weeks left of Executive training and then I will finally be placed in a store. The training has gone very well. In the past weeks I have had some interesting things happen. I have met the VP for Target and the FOS for Target, both of which are pretty high position at our corporate office. It is kind of funny, with both of their visits I was mistaken as a corporate guy because the people in the stores had no clue who I was and I happened to pop in each store just as they were visiting.

There is one sad thing about being in my position at work. I have met some cute guys who happen to be gay. The problem is I am over them, which creates an dilemma. I am not allowed to date people below me or people who I supervise (at any time I may be the supervisor of the store and all 250+ team members). If I started dating one of them we would have to work at different stores or one of us must quit. I guess it is probably best to have these rules though, mixing work and relationships never works well. It has kind of scared me from getting to know some of them, I don't want to give off he image that I am interested or flirting with any of them. It sucks though, because I would like to start dating again. I haven't really gone out since last year (yeah a few dates here and there, but nothing serious). It is time!

So anyway, that is my boring life update.

My ego.

My ego is getting pretty big at work. I have to make sure I don't let it get out of control. I was walking in the store the other day and a guest came up to me and asked me if I was the manager. Funny thing is, I was! That says clearly I am doing something right that it is easy to tell who is leading the store. That is one of the things I have been told I need to do. I need to make sure that if someone walks in the store they can tell who the Executives are and who the team members are.

I was also in a different store today and when I walked in people thought I was someone from corporate office. They got a little scared for a minute, because tomorrow they are having some corporate executives in the store doing an inspection. When I walked in and started walking the floor and asking "Can I help you find something" it scared them. A few of the team members made a point to come introduce themselves, thinking I was someone special. I had to disappoint them because I am special, just not that special.

I have enjoyed my training so far, no two days have been alike as of yet (I am sure at some point they will). By the time I am done with my training I will have worked in every store except for West Jordan and the new South Jordan store. Tomorrow I get to go to Orem at 6 am, which I am not looking forward to. It seems every time I have to travel to the furthest stores I have to be there quite early and can't sleep the night before. Anyway, I was bored and this is all I had to write about, sorry it's boring.

Peeps are gross!

(Not my postcard)

I have kind of been feeling down lately. I know why and I am going to fix it. I haven't been to the therapist in awhile because of scheduling conflicts with my new job. I also stopped taking the medication I was on because I didn't think it was working. Since then I have kind of started feeling how I once did. I figured I probably should start again, it may have been helping more than I knew. It's kind of lonely living alone sometimes. But hey, it is all good!

In other news, I have had some very interesting things happen to me at work. One of the first days I was leading the store we had a lost child and a kid fall out of a shopping cart. We had to call the paramedics for the kid who fell. Then a few days later, once again I was leading the store and we had a staff member have a stroke. Once again the paramedics had to be called to the store and she was rushed to the hospital. Then last night, once again I was leading the store and we had a suspicious package left in front of the building. No one knew who put it there or what was in it. So once again we had to call the police. This is starting to become routine to have some emergency crew at the store. I guess it is good training though, because no one can teach you how to react in situations such as these.